you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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