I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
