apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
