Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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