Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
