Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize