I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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