I got chris browned last night
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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