what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
