I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Will exercising make me less horny?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
