if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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