why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
