You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
