I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
