i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
