we have officially lost it.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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