i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
