so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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