Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
