Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
