If i come over, it means nothing
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
