Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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