Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize