Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
