You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
