girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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