I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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