Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We had sex on a dog bed..
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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