so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
