It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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