That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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