you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
