You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
