Plan B is the new Plan A
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
