Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
