talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
