Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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