Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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