i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
