I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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