drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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