all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
