I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize