I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
