i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
