Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she pinky promised me she was 18
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
