I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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