So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
