I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
