we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
