who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Randomize
