ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
