They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize