This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
