I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
