we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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