My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
