I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My penis needs a shock collar
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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