He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
