2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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