I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I still have a little drunk in my system
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
