UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
