Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
