have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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