he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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