is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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