He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize