Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i think i just lost a toe
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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