Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
