I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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