Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
They are going to name an STD after you.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize