she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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