You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
