K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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